Female Anger, It’s All The Rage
5 powerful ways to reshape your relationship with anger, amplify your voice and channel your fury into meaningful change
Merriam-Webster offers a bizarre assortment of definitions for “anger”: “a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism” and “a threatening or violent appearance or state” are attempting to define the same word. Even more curious are the offerings for “rage” - ranging from “a fit of violent wrath”, to “ an intense feeling”. Even the dictionary is confused by female anger/rage, no surprises here.
I have been (unofficially) tracking my female client’s thoughts/feelings/expressions of anger/rage for five years. I have yet to work with a female client who has access to her anger and does not feel guilt or shame about this feeling, not one of them expresses it externally, and everyone has an opinion about the “usefulness” of the feeling.
My heart rate went up just writing that.
Female Anger is having a Hot Girl Summer. I know this because I have several Google alerts on the topic and am inundated with email pings combing the interwebs for mentions of women and anger together.
Taylor Swift trademarked ‘Female Rage: The Musical”, Sabrina Carpenter went viral for wearing a t-shirt with an old picture of Swift "feminine rage" (it’s adorable, I almost bought one, that’s another story) - see below TikTok. Songs that Gen A-Millenial scream to in unison, like Olivia Rodrigo’s “all american bitch” where she sweetly seethes while telling us exactly what it is to be a woman who feels anger:
“I don't get angry when I'm pissed
I'm the eternal optimist
I scream inside to deal with it
Like, "Ah"
Like, "Ah" (oh my fucking God)”
Reality TV picked their cameras back up last Summer to catch Scandoval - the reality TV scandal that the New York Times reported on (file under: ‘Only In America’) - in a peak female rage moment between Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval when she reads him for filth on the finale in 2023 and again in season 11, making the Grey Rock Method a pop-psychology summer sensation.
Anna Taylor Joy has been interviewed repeatedly about her portrayal of female rage and her thoughts about the emotion (see The Witch, Furiosa, The Menu, The Northman), as has Mia Goth (see Pearl, X and, MaXXXine).
We just can’t get enough.
@sabrinacarpenter first eras tour show tn mexicoooooo :’) how did we get here lol and dont say a plane
♬ taylor swift karma 00s version - jerry music mashups 🎧
It’s like media and culture woke up one day and realized women have shit to be fucking angry about. And (for now), we can’t be silenced, the masses are too curious, too click-trigger-happy, not to read about what feels like a huge “Duh” to me.
Why Anger?
Anger is a stress response, on the spectrum of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses. Anger is activated because there’s a perceived danger or threat (physical, emotional, spiritual, cultural, etc.). When we feel anger, we feel it for a reason. If we have pathologized female anger to the point that we don’t even admit to having the feeling - which we have - but rather more ‘sophisticated’ feelings like ‘frustration’ or ‘annoyance’, then we can’t do the thing that anger is asking us to do - suss out danger, employ boundaries, and never, ever gaslight ourselves about having the feeling.
Why women?
Because we have seen male rage - turn on the news. I won’t expend any energy stating the obvious.
Why now?
Something about the Age of Aquarius, the far-reaching, albeit watered down, the spread of knowledge about the nervous system, and the grotesque marketablity of women’s siren cries for body autonomy and respect (but that’s a whole other story).
For too long, women's anger has been treated like a dangerous contaminant—something to be contained, neutralized, and hidden away. We're told to smile through disrespect, to breathe through injustice, to soften our edges until we disappear. The message is clear: your rage is unbecoming, unwelcome, unladylike. But what if your anger isn't the problem—what if it's the solution? What if that fire in your chest isn't something to extinguish but a power source waiting to be channeled? The truth is that female anger isn't just valid—it's valuable. It's the internal alarm system alerting you to boundary violations, disrespect, and injustice. It's time to stop apologizing for your rage and start harnessing it.
Credit: mytherapistsays
Here are five pathways to befriending your inner rage monster, finding your "outdoor voice," and turning that emotional inferno into your personal rocket fuel for change:
1. Liberate Your Voice & Body: Let's be honest—we've been silenced & silencing ourselves for centuries. That rage you've been swallowing? It's literally making you sick. Your body keeps the score of every "I'm fine" that should have been "I'm furious." The headaches, the gut issues, the chronic pain—anger doesn't just disappear when ignored. It's time to learn how to express what's burning inside you without burning yourself down. Your health depends on it. Your life depends on it.
2. Shatter Age-old Myths & Stereotypes: "Hysterical." "Emotional." "Difficult." The vocabulary of dismissal has always been gendered. Society has crafted an impossible paradox: be assertive but not aggressive, confident but not intimidating. Let's call it what it is—bullshit. Your anger isn't "too much"—it's information. It's your internal compass pointing toward what matters. It deserves to be heard, not hidden away like some shameful secret.
3. Navigate the Emotional Minefields: The game is rigged. One moment of justified anger can cost you credibility, relationships, and even opportunities. But suppressing it costs you your authentic self. This isn't about unleashing chaos—it's about strategic power. Learning when to roar and when to redirect that energy isn't compromising—it's tactical. Mastering this navigation isn't just survival—it's revolutionary.
4. Empowerment Through Understanding: Your anger has roots—personal history, hormonal fluctuations, and generations of women told to "calm down." Understanding these layers isn't about excusing your emotions but claiming them fully. When you recognize where your anger comes from, you can direct where it goes. This isn't about control—it's about choice. Your anger becomes a tool rather than a tornado.
5. Transformative Release: That energy crackling beneath your skin needs somewhere to go. Whether through physical exertion, creative expression, or confrontation, your anger deserves release. Find your method—scream into the void, pound clay, write the truth, speak directly to power. The point isn't to diminish your anger but to harness its electric potential to power change—in your life and beyond.
Your anger isn't a diagnosis—it's a vital sign, as necessary to your mental health as joy or grief. Consider this your permission slip to feel everything, fiercely and without apology. After all, the most radical form of self-care isn't bubble baths—it's honoring your emotional truth.
